Illumination
by prussianpancakes7
Summary: Haruka Nanase was an artist who lost his colour. His former village knew him as a teenager who had tried to commit suicide, resulting in his family being paranoid. When he was sent to college, he thought he was alone. But when a kindhearted swimming coach was required to move in with him, he saw his colour slowly returning. (makoharu college au. TW: attempted suicide, self harm)


_**Introduction**_

Haruka Nanase was an artist who lost his colour. He only painted in black and white. Drawing was one of his favourite things to do; other than swimming, of course. He was often criticized for being boring and cold. His life was dull. It had no meaning. Haruka was often told that he was different as a child. He didn't care. Why didn't they understand that people change?

Haru only had two ways to escape from reality; swimming, and art. Swimming wasn't an option anymore, he had no time to swim. It was all homework, studying, classes, and other bullshit. Haruka didn't care about any of them, yet he still managed to get decent grades. He could call himself lucky, people who try their hardest still fail. And that was how life was; Haruka had realized that long ago.

That was why he had attempted to take his own life. It was three years ago, when he was in high school. He didn't think he had a reason to live, and decided to commit suicide. He didn't hate himself; he just didn't want to exist. He wanted to fall off of the face of the Earth and disappear, having nobody remember him.

When he was sent off to college, his parents didn't want him to leave. They were afraid that he would try to do something like that again, but they eventually let him go. Haruka didn't even trust himself to repeat what he did, but he had to get an education. If he didn't, he wouldn't get a job. And if he couldn't get a job, then he would rot on the streets and eventually die, becoming a laughingstock. This was why he wanted to be dead.

Haruka painted in college. All his classes were about art. His art was different, it was more… fucked up, is how you would say it. He didn't paint portraits or anything, he painted… things. Nobody knew what to call them. They didn't have blood or gore or anything, they were just weird creatures. Haruka's father always told him to do whatever he wanted, so he did. He painted what he painted because he wanted to. It was a way for him to vent, since he was all alone and there was nobody to listen to him. His art was different from what everyone wanted, and he really couldn't give a shit. That's what he wanted, to be different.

He was alone now. All alone in his dorm, pathetically eating frozen foods and painting pointless shit. His life was boring. Many thoughts swam inside of his head, ones that told him that killing himself would be the only way out. And he knew that they were right. He wanted to believe otherwise, but deep down he knew that he would have to kill himself eventually. He was in college, there was nobody to stop him.

But he waited. For a sign. Maybe something will happen in life, something that would keep him alive. Maybe… someone. But that wasn't possible; who would be interested in him? Nobody paid attention to him in any time of his life other than his family. He was known as the quiet, cold one. He was practically nonexistent.

Haruka's life was a blur up until the day he heard a knock on his door.

"Hi, I'm Makoto Tachibana. I'm going to live with you!"

* * *

 _ **A/N: the other chapters wont be this short ? this is just an introduction**_

 _ **yo i'm em with another story. the other chapters wont be this short i hope ?**_

 _ **im gonna put the hetalia one on hiatus for a bit bc i really dont care abt hetalia that much anymore sooo.. if i get back into hetalia i will try to continue it. im just constantly in a state of writers block n its shit so sorry abt that.**_

 _ **this story will hopefully be better than the last ! im gonna put smut in this one but im shit at writing smut soo… for now i'm gonna have it be rated T bc i want it to show up on the main Free! fanfic page thingy… idfk**_

 _ **anyways i hope y'all like this fanfic ty for reading**_


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